


he makes me feel something

by neptuneking



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry waxes poetry a lot, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, Teenagers, Teenagers being in love without rationalizing they’re in love, Tumblr, childhood best friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 04:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17974208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neptuneking/pseuds/neptuneking
Summary: A collection of textposts written by Barry about Oliver.





	he makes me feel something

**Author's Note:**

> i haven’t posted on this account in years, but i was going through my old files and found so many unfinished olivarry/flarrow fics and wanted to put them out in the open! i’m not caught up on neither flash nor arrow, so anything i post until i am caught up is just for fun au purposes.  
> enjoy, happy reading!  
> tyler xx

**achangeofbarry**

 

 uh oh

              _barry // 16 // starling_

_you can read about my love for space in my_ _ about me _

_textposts are tagged #personal or #O_

 

_——-_

 

so hey. dis my blog. if you need anything tagged, don’t hesitate to message me!

-achangeofbarry posted 8:20 PM

 

——-

 

boys are???? boys. boys. they're nice to look at and it's making me confused

-achangeofbarry posted 11:34 PM

 

——-

 

he makes me feel something.

 

something i’ve never felt before. it’s strange. like gargling warm salt water, or scratching a bug bite. it’s relieving but you also don’t want to do it. so many things are like that with him. i broke my wrist for the first time when we were 13 because he told me to climb to the top of a tree. obviously i did it because he told me to, even if i was scared. but the beam in his own eyes when he looked out over everything was more than enough encouragement. it really was beautiful, but then i glanced down at him. and, he stole my breath away. then i fell. he does that a lot. steals things from me. not physical things, but things inside me. he makes me feel something and i don't know how to feel about it. God, that's frustrating.

-achangeofbarry posted 12:35 AM

 

——-

 

i just turned 16 yesterday. he’s a couple months older than me, so he’s been practicing to get his license. a few weeks ago he showed up at my house in the early hours of the morning in one of his dad’s dumbly expensive cars. we drove around until the sun came up and then some more. we did stuff like that. stupid things we know we shouldn't but it happens anyways because we’re best friends and that's what best friends do together. the streets were empty and dark and quiet like everybody knew that night was a moment just for us. we never talked about it, never brought it up in conversation like ‘hey man remember that time we softly talked and got french fries from mcdonalds when we should've been sleeping?’. it was just a thing we did.

i think about things we do a lot

-achangeofbarry posted 11:08PM

 

——-

 

he comes over for breakfast sometimes. when things get too mechanical at his house. when it's too empty, too clean, too cold. when it feels like everything a home isn't supposed to be. he sits at the wooden table with me and my adoptive family and we eat cheerios or pancakes or bacon and eggs. we sip orange juice and my dad asks if he's nervous for his archery competition coming up. he doesn't have to pretend around us so he’ll admit that yeah, he is. we’ll nod and tell him he’ll do great. he always does, always has. then we’ll walk to school together, joking on the way there but always leaving the conversation open; to say anything we’re too scared or self-righteous to say in front of other people.

that's the thing about us. we can talk talk talk our heads off but we can also listen and communicate and help as best we can and its way deeper than just voicing words. its confessing emotions and thoughts and endless voids of feelings you can only do with someone you know will understand you without fault. i guess we get each other.

-achangeofbarry posted 9:59 AM

 

——-

 

he makes it hard to focus.

technically we’re supposed to be writing our english reports but he’s sitting leaned back against my headboard with his eyebrows drawn in and his teeth are biting off pieces of dead skin from his lips. so it's hard to focus. i mean he's being incredibly normal and we haven't spoken a word in the past twenty minutes but that's the thing. why am i getting distracted by him if he isn't even doing anything. i’d understand if he was giggling out some pun he found scrolling his twitter feed or if he was asking a question about the paper topic or if he grew two heads. but no, he's just normal. maybe that's the reason. i like him when hes normal and when he's laughing so hard milk comes out of his nose and when he's angry at his parents so i give him a pillow to punch. i like him always. he's my best friend and we get along but also fight and bicker and cry and cackle so hard our sides hurt. i’ll probably like him till the day i die. that should scare me but it doesn't, not even a little bit. i can't imagine a world where he isn't the first person i run to when i have to vent or the first person i text good morning to when i wake up or the last person i think about when i fall asleep at night. i can't imagine a world without _him_.

so i don't try to.

p.s. if my paper ends up rushed and gross, is it okay to tell mrs. host 16 year old boys in my bed are distracting?

-achangeofbarry posted 4:14 PM

 

——-

 

i think it's bad that i get a rush when our hands accidentally touch. am i supposed to feel the wind get knocked out of me? is that normal when your best friend squeezes your shoulder in reassurance or appreciation? i'm not sure. i gotta go meet up with him at the mall now. i'm going to leave at least a four foot gap between us when we’re walking.

-achangeofbarry posted at 5:42 PM

 

——-

 

why do we feel things like this?

his smile is making me lose my mind. we were gonna get kicked out of the mall, unsurprisingly. he's the one that suggested jumping in the water fountain, also unsurprisingly. i’d do anything to make him laugh like that, even if it meant repeatedly hitting myself upside the head.

the security came and we stifled our giggles because God, of course this would happen to us. chaos follows us everywhere. in the quiet moments sitting on his bedroom floor or running through the shoe department with soaking wet clothes. i liked that.

anyway, he turned on his charming queen smile and they let us off the hook with a warning. on our way out he held my arm and put his hand to my chest as he laughed and laughed and laughed. i loved that sound, so much. almost so much it hurt and i don't understand why.

-achangeofbarry posted 10:01 PM

 

——-

 

i'm tired. its sunday and i don't feel like going to church. he’ll be there with his family but i already told my sister i don't feel well and im not getting out of bed for anybody. not for God, not for him, not for school tomorrow. i just need some time to sleep and time to think and time to rewatch the first few seasons of X-files on netflix.

he just sent me a snapchat of his frowning face with the caption ‘miss ya’. is it bad i find it so cute i screenshotted? probably.

whatever.

-achangeofbarry posted 9:10 AM

 

——-

 

you know how sometimes a scar you got a long time ago will randomly itch? i feel like it's that way with memories too.

we shove a lot of things to the back of our minds to dig up a different time; i guess it's that time for me now. things keep hitting me. the night my mother died, the day i met him, my first kiss and how i didn't really feel anything from it. might've been because that girl in 6th grade was not who i wanted to be sharing it with. not that i admitted it back then. don't even admit it now. not going to tomorrow or the next day either.

it's an unspoken thing. i've taken up the silent treatment to my own feelings.

-achangeofbarry posted 1:24 AM

 

——-

 

i think i’m starting to understand all of those romance novels my mom used to read. the ones where the guy was mysterious but sweet and would do anything to save the girl. the girl would always fawn over that, a strong man willing to care so much to go out of his way to save her. he brought me my favorite coffee this morning, even wrote a little note in sharpie on the side too. he said he hoped i was feeling better and asked if we could hang out after school today because he’s free if i want to. it’s wednesday. he has archery practice after school on wednesday’s.

how deep do i read into this?

-achangeofbarry posted 10:45 AM

 

——-

 

sitting on my roof with him is how i’d like to spend most of my time.

on these nights, the entire universe shapes us into stars. and one day, we’ll collide and start our own galaxy

-achangeofbarry posted 2:50 AM

 

——-

 

grocery shopping with you is my favorite.

us bickering over which cereal to get, even if we both know we’re going to end up buying five different boxes.

does pineapple belong on pizza? do mushrooms belong in pasta sauce? what about sugar on grapefruits?

i think i just like to imagine having a future with you

-achangeofbarry posted 4:11 PM

 

——-

 

you’re a fucking DORK oh my GOSH

-achangeofbarry posted 1:01 PM

 

——-

 

the butterflies really never stop, huh?

i like feeling this

-achangeofbarry posted 8:15 AM

 

——-

 

he’s so good with my father and my sister. he fits right in, always has.

i love that he cares

-achangeofbarry posted 9:31 PM

 

——-

 

his hands are perfect

they’re soft but visibly strong. he’s got knuckles that are made for punching, yet he uses them to boop noses. his right pointer finger curves more than the others because he broke it a couple of years back.

one time last summer we were in the field behind his house, just running. running as far as we could and as fast as we could before we fell onto the ground and laughed until the fireflies came out.

i wanted to take his hand in mine so badly, it probably left me in waves. the longing must’ve been so strong, because he, ever willing to help, reached over in the moonlight and humidity and grabbed my hand. he held it for a couple of minutes before we got up to go eat dinner.

i could hold his hand for the rest of my life

-achangeofbarry posted 11:57 AM

 

——-

 

he has a date.

he keeps asking me if he should go and what he should wear and if he’s making the right decision.

the thing is, it’s not hard to be happy for him. even if he got married to some beautiful, wonderful girl, i’d still be right there as best man rooting him on. it’s just how it is, i want him to be happy, and if that’s with some pretty blonde girl with glasses i won’t say a thing other than friendly encouragement.

but there’s something off. everytime i offer my congratulations and say i’m happy for him, and love is what he deserves, she seems amazing, you’re going to have so much fun. he gets quiet. contemplative. that little scrunch between his eyebrows shows up, and other people wouldn’t notice it but he plays with his bracelet i gave him for his birthday. he does that when he wants to say something but doesn’t know how to word it right or doesn’t have the courage just yet.

he acts like he wants my response to be something different, and he’ll keep asking until it is.

i’m not sure what to tell him yet

-achangeofbarry posted 5:05 PM

 

——-

 

he doesn’t like blueberries. he loves strawberries and mangos. he has a secret obsession with Glee and won’t admit it to anybody, but he listens to the season soundtracks while he works out. my dad taught him how to properly throw a baseball, and how to cook an omelette. he learned how to start a fire 5 different ways and how to fix a flat tire from my dad. i think we helped shape him into who he is more than his own parents. he became obsessed with poetry because my dad told him words are living inside of us, and that was the most beautiful thing in the world. he’s afraid of the dark and his favorite movie is about the pursuit of happiness. he likes ketchup on his fries and pickles on his burgers and he prefers onion rings over mozzarella sticks like an absolute weirdo. he tried painting once but could only sketch out a tree and sun, and a few flowers. he likes talking on the phone more than texting, and could stay on call for hours. his favorite color is summer grass green. he loves his friends and family so genuinely, and so open.

i think i’ve always been in love with him

-achangeofbarry posted 12:00 AM

 

——-

 

he didn’t go on the date with her.

i asked him why and he said he just wasn’t feeling the connection, said maybe he’s too caught up on someone else.

i asked him who and he wouldn’t tell me. i think i know.

should i tell him?

-achangeofbarry posted 8:10 PM

 

——-

 

my sister knows, and won’t stop giving me these Looks.

i invited him to spend the weekend sleeping at my house, and he said he’d love to.

i’m going to tell him

-achangeofbarry posted 2:48 PM

 

——-

 

he’s here and he wants to cook dinner tonight. that’d be completely normal, he helps my dad with dinner and breakfast all the time. but my dad and sister went to visit some aunts and uncles in a town over.

we’re alone in the house and he wants to cook me dinner.

oh my gosh i have to tell him

-achangeofbarry posted 5:25 PM

 

——-

 

WISH ME LUCK

-achangeofbarry posted 7:31 PM

 

——-

 

he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine he’s mine

i love him

-achangeofbarry posted 9:01 AM

 

——-

 

his lips feel better than i could’ve ever imagined. sleeping on his chest is where i want to sleep every night. i feel soft and safe and all things in love.

his arms make me feel content, his laugh makes my heart skip and my brain rationalize how something could feel this wonderful. feel feel feel

i’m feeling so much

-achangeofbarry posted 11:21 AM

 

——-

 

we drove to the ocean and held hands underwater. his parents are off on some business trip out of the country so he has the house and all of the cars to himself. we took one of the most expensive and put the top down so we could feel the wind in our hair and freedom in our bones. his fingers traced my wrist over the center console and my skin flushed from my cheeks down to my chest when he left his grip on the inside of my thigh.

he makes me feel something, and it’s that soulmate love type of shit

-achangeofbarry posted 1:25 PM

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
